Friday - The calm before the storm..!!

And what a calm

Last night I was on my way to bed and I had turned all the lights off - and it was still light...!
Unusual in this house !!!
So I looked out of the bedrom window and what I was was just amazing
Completely clear sky - Bright bright 3/4 moon and a landscape that was lit up by the moon for as far as I could see.
It took my breath away. And I saw at that moment what an amazing gift this world is to us and how much beauty is in it and all around us. And I smiled inside which felt so nice. And I went to bed.

And so today I am preparing for the onslaught of the Little People - with a much lighter heart.

14:30 edit
Ok - now I'm getting nervous - The truth is I've NEVER had the children on my own before. I've always had someone else to give me a hand and be there to take some of the burden even if it was simply to give me a hug or to talk to.
But this time I'm on my own. My parents are not in any fit state to help me this time - Dad is not well enough and could do without the stress, Mum is hiding away from life and I have hardly seen her in the past few days. And she always finds the children hard work anyway. But I need my kids to know just how much I love them and how centrally important their lives are to me.
And I am not feeling strong enough for it and it scares me.
I was talking on MSN to a close friend this morning about the importance of the big things in your life. And how we shouldn't worry about the little things too much.
Well - one of my big things will be here in about 4 hours time - and I really don't want to f**k this up.

I need to go for a run to try and clear my head so that I can give them the very best of me....
Back soon.

16:00 Head Clearing Run
HRM - NO
GPS - NO
That wasn't the point

I ran the same 3.2 miles from the day before yesterday and just wanted to run and push a bit - so I did

What: 3.2 Miles
Time: 24:21
Pace: 7:36 But that's not important
Why: Needed to push to clear my head - and it felt OK and the head is less fuzzy

So I have an hour now before I need to go and collect the children.
Good Luck Me.......!!

21:25 Update

A couple of things......
I'm blinkin' knackered - It's a 90 mile round trip to pick up 3 hyper-manic kids who were SO pleased to see me that it almost knocked me flat.. and they remained hyper-manic until about 15 minutes ago when they were finally persuaded to bed. To characterise them goes something like this:-
Eldest Mini-Me is skinny very quick loves sport and has no stamina - I'll call him 'Speedy'
Middle Mini-Me is introspective, very intelligent and works everything out to the last detail - he has great stamina but not much speed - So I was torn between 'mountain-man' and 'little professor' or 'prof'. 'Prof.' it is for now
Smallest Mini-me is a princess - beautiful ( but she always thanks you when you tell her so!!!). 'Princess' then

Speedy was already tired and was first undressed and ready for bed after a makeshift tea. And asleep in 15 nanoseconds after speaking to his Mum. Prof. is really hard to get to focus on anything *He's* not started, and the Pyjamas - Wee - Teeth thing has always been a struggle - tonight was the same, although for him, he was pretty quick. Still last though. Princess told me she wanted her PJ's and the told me she hadn't got shiny teeth yet - Ah the blunt and honest nature of the three-year-old!!!!!!!. SO one teeth shining later and she put herself in bed...... and I waited for the customary "important thing" that she would come downstairs to tell me accompanied - of course - by Prof. who would be explaining it to me!!!!!!!!

It took 7 minutes

But now all seems quiet.

And all I want to do is sleep

The other thing I wanted to say was Thank you.
I have had an email and phone call from a close friend to check I was OK.. A comment here that reiterated a similar message, and just this evening another email that really got to the heart of the matter.
You Guys know who you are and I am really grateful for your thoughts, support and kind words
(And you are right - it is OK)

They are so unconditional children.. and even if I do say so myself.. Mine are really special...